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…if this lifetime runs out of days, we have the promise of heaven…

This is a song I wrote for my grandmothers. Most specifically for my mom’s mom – the details are about her – but they were both in my mind. It was played at my grandma Evangeline Moyer’s funeral last Friday, and I’ve been asked to share it. (Click here to listen.) Wasn’t she beautiful?

I wrote and recorded this three years ago. I played it for about three people, and then it just sat there in a file on my computer. It felt too personal to share, and so sad. I didn’t mean to write so much regret into it. A month ago I got brave and emailed it to my mom for her birthday. Just three weeks later my sweet grandma passed away and I sat in a church full of people and listened to these words playing loud and clear over the sound system.

The hardest part came at the end of the service. As her casket was wheeled slowly down the aisle, followed by family members, this song was turned on one more time. We were sitting in the last pew, so we listened and watched as all the rest of the family (close to 100 of them) filed past us and out into the sunshine.

Funny. These words have always had meaning to me. Now they also contain pictures. That casket going past the end of the pew. Faces of my cousins, parents, brothers. Sunglasses hiding sadness. Sunshine. It was such a beautiful day.

A Love Song

I never knew you well
I mostly loved you from afar
But I could see how you were loved
We couldn’t help but love you
I saw you as a child
And as a beautiful young bride
And I was proud to have you in my blood
I was proud to have you in my life
I was proud to call you mine

Someday, I’ll hear your stories
And someday, we’ll have more time to talk
And someday, we’ll be together
For more than an hour or two
For more than an hour or two…

I see you in my mother’s hands
And I see her hands in mine
So, in a sense, your gentle hands
Have touched me all my life
I’ve seen you in my daughter’s eyes
But I can’t find you in mine
Oh, if I could see you in my face
Or if I could hear you in my voice
Would that change and meld our lives?

You always loved us well
There were more of us than you could ever hold
But somehow every one
Could be the only one
Even a shy and awkward girl
Who could never quite believe
She was important enough to monopolize you
Cause all of us wanted to be with you
And maybe they needed you more…